Life sometimes throws a curve ball. With me, this happens more than I want it too. On occasion I do ask why can’t things be easier? I remember the easier old days, when life wasn’t so complex and there wasn’t so many questions, problems, and concerns. However, I think back and remember that they were not really good days, they were still difficult. Going from not working to working full time and dealing with multiple issues all at one time and not losing my cool has finally become somewhat easier for me. I still have moments were it comes really close though. When I was a young mom and only had two kids close in age I never dreamed my life would have taken so many turns, pit stops, dangerous paths, and dead ends. I thought I would go one way and went in another way completely. I decided years ago I should work for HR Block and file taxes. It was a great job, I stayed for 5 years and enjoyed it. Of course, it was only for 4 months out of the year, can’t really pay the bills with that. Then I went to school to become a paralegal and had a little job that didn’t pay well. I worked that in between tax seasons for two years while I attended school. Neither job got me very far so I went back to school and thought I would do journalism (communications) for a minute. Really it lasted almost two years and I found out I didn’t need a higher level of math and went into nursing. Then I got pregnant so I did apply and got into the nursing program but I didn’t take it and went for a Bachelors in Integrated studies emphasis in Health science, Health promotion and Nutrition Education, because of life circumstances. My online internship for the WIC program was amazing and considering I was an experienced breastfeeding mama I thought I should look there for a job. That didn’t work out and I was defeated and gave up. Always in the back of my mind I thought I should go into teaching and I made a modest effort until it became to difficult or life took over. This stale mate lasted until desperation took over. I had to have enough wisdom and courage to walk away from my own thoughts of defeat to do that. I now know that self compassion has to come into play in this little dance too. When we first learned how to walk our mothers would hold their arms out and we would walk or stumble towards them and if we fell they would pick us up and love us. That is what has to happen when we fall and become discouraged with our life, or our progress. We have to love ourselves back to life. Yes outside sources might help soothe but it has to come from within. Once we have loved ourselves upright we are better able to feel Heavenly Father’s love for us and walk towards him much like a baby learning to walk to his mother. By doing this we will then be able to walk with our heads held high and have dignity. This is how Heavenly Father can then make beauty out of ashes.