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Life can be difficult some days. This is when you know you are in a growth cycle. Sometimes growing is painful however there are a few things that make it bearable. When I have taken the time to look inward and see if I could have done better I totally see my flaws in all their glory. Looking at your own character flaws is not always pleasant. However, somewhat necessary. I had an experience several days ago that I looked back on and thought I could have done better. I should have listened better, I wasn’t representing the better part of me that is in there. You know what though even though I could have admittedly done better I realize that there were two flawed human beings in that situation that rub each other the wrong way on any given day of the week. It could only go one way in all actuality. For once I had to stand up and be all in. For once I had to be a little more aggressive then was maybe called for at that time. For once I had to push back. I know some of you that have known me from way back in the day probably are thinking she’s always been that way. Its simply not true. I have demurred, acquiesced,  and essentially just not been all in. Yes, I have a temper, that has not changed. Instead of letting someone actually push my buttons to full blown anger for many years I have tried to suck it up and roll with it, because I get angry and everybody laughs at me. Here I am in this situation and for once I felt like I was in control, not my anger, not the other person, but ME!!!! Yes, I overcame the tendency to throw the switch of anger in this one situation (not going to hold my breath on anything else yet…LOL). I did it. I was irritated, but I stayed in control and when I wasn’t going to take anymore I left!! Thing is they then admitted that thy have always hated me!!! Well, guess what? they projected their inadequacies on me and I kept throwing it back is what really happened. So yes, I have haters, sadly they might not have realized that in that moment. I had all control over the situation because they had given it to me. If you hate someone you don’t have control anymore. Sad truth!! I wouldn’t have recognized this if I hadn’t been trying to look for answers by looking heavenward in my daily life. Yes, and somewhere in there is the reaching outward to you, for your benefit. If there is hate in you the only one who can fix it is Heavenly Father and that is through prayer. Through letting him know that you really hate this person. The thing is he will point out your errors but he will help you find a way to come to peace. We are all human and I don’t have enough time to go around hating anyone, life is just too short. So take it up with Heavenly Father if you have this problem and let him work it out for you. Approaching the other person explaining your feelings is really not going to help as much as this will, I know been there done that myself!!!

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