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Hard times

This also goes hand in hand with patience, my least favorite attribute that Heavenly Father is insisting on instilling in me. It is difficult to endure. I have found that when I finally have had enough and I just can’t go on anymore that a very real very raw prayer is offered. By that I mean I release my frustration and my anger and whatever else I am suffering with to Heavenly Father. Sometimes a song may come to mind to encourage me to continue. Here lately, my frustration is more to do with how long this trial seems to be. I keep reminding Heavenly Father that the pioneers only had 6 months of extreme hardship, am I really that prideful that I require more than that? It’s hard enough to see with eternal eye sight, but it can become downright close to impossible when things start to go very wrong and anxiety and panic creep in. Yes, it has already taken a lot of perseverance and hard work just to get to this point but then to know that you aren’t done yet and more hard work of perseverance and patience are required just seems like pure torture to me. I will admit that I am weak and somewhat lazy at times and would rather just stay to myself and not do one single thing, but Heavenly Father tries to work with me and make me better than I am. Just like the pioneers who really had to suffer from starvation, disease and death, I too suffer from starvation of faith, disease of overwhelm and death of my old self as I strive to take his hand and trust that he knows I need this!!!