Becoming

Here lately I have made a few changes in my life, some of them minor some of them major. About 18 months ago I kind of woke up to a whole new thought that I had never considered before. A few things happened along the way to prepare me for the next step. First I started wearing a hat to church because some ladies had cancer and would possibly lose their hair so I decided that was a worthy cause and I always liked hats so I wore them. I really did not know how much I would enjoy it. I also lost weight through getting beyond stressed out by this new thought that I did not plant or want. So the weight came off the hats went on which then precipitated other changes internally as well as externally. It took a while but then I started dressing up everyday and deciding that if I looked good I felt good even though sometimes that just was not the case. Then I started being more diligent in scripture study and prayer because this thought would not go away. Still the thought persists. Eventually I wanted to change my business, because I felt it was necessary  and I prayed to know what to do there. I got an answer and went with it. As I have listened and followed this thought or idea, I have learned a few things. Fear is not real, you can do ANYTHING you want if you put your mind to it and then follow the guidance you receive through faithful prayer and write it down. Second that I have a life that is worth living because I am in charge of it, instead of just merely existing. Third that if you sit and dwell and complain about your problems that doesn’t fix them. Even if you take your problems to the person who you think is to blame. 90% of the time they are unaware of your life because they are too busy living their own and they probably are not to blame anyway. What I am getting at is that if you want to become something, if you want to do something, if the thought does not leave you alone no matter how hard you try to run from it then you must act. If you don’t know how to act or what to do, pray about it. You will receive the inspiration that you need, you will be given what you need to know. Maybe not quickly, sometimes very slowly…like a drip from a faucet that isn’t consistent. But you be consistent, you trust that there is an answer and it will come. Sometimes you have to shut down the world so to speak and be alone for a while. Of course when you get an answer you will feel the opposition sometimes immediately because that’s how it works. Anything worthy to obtain is also the hardest to get, fraught with pain and tears along the way. If you think my life has been easy in all this I will tell you there has been more tears and pain than even I could have imagined. However, I have become stronger than I ever dreamed possible. I now can say that this thought that spurs me on is the best thing that could have happened because it has made me who I am. I accept this thought and work towards it always with a prayer in my heart for those rough times that will happen as they always do.