Be Present

I think I may have lived in either one of these two states of daydreaming about the past or future for a long time. It really isn’t productive and it may make you feel good for a time but then reality is always right there. Sometimes there are circumstances that force us to wake up and participate. Usually they aren’t very pleasant or go away quickly or easily. Eventually I started to realize that I wasted a lot of time and things needed to change. With that I felt that I wanted to do more service for God’s children and I opened my own business, which did not go as I had hoped. Then I focused in on the business and decided to reformat so that I could help more people and so far that hasn’t gotten me anywhere either. None of this was for free. I spent money to do all of this and this forced me into getting a job. I thought substitute teaching would work because it was flexible, if I didn’t want to work I didn’t have to work and the hours were perfect. I decided to go prepared and bring work to fill in the gaps, last thing I needed was children with nothing to do. Good thing I did, there was no teacher plan. I managed it and did well with it. I stayed with the first class for 6 weeks until they abruptly got a teacher. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to them. Sigh, office politics! I really needed to work and I picked another job to go to the next day. I was heartbroken, tired because I barely slept and coming down with a nasty cold. I showed up as well as I could and did whatever they asked of me. I let them know my plans of taking the test and becoming certified to teach. I was greeted warmly and even informally interviewed by the assistant principal within the first couple of hours. These were all great things, however, because of my lack of sleep and sickness coming on I couldn’t be my usual exuberant self. I soon realized that I needed to show up and allow things to just flow and stop daydreaming about what could have been with the other job. Which was most of my problem. On Thursday the school had some higher ups in  the district visit to see how things were working for them. The classroom I was in was with a first or second year teacher who I think is pretty amazing for her classroom control skills. We actually were team teaching when they showed up. We acknowledged their presence but mostly ignored them. We just went right on teaching the class. The assistant principal was with them and told me much later that she had to explain who the teacher was and who the sub was. They told her to keep me because I was amazing and going places. If I would have stayed in my woe is me or daydream state I never would have been validated by the district for my teaching abilities. Sometimes you just have to move forward and be present despite the hardships of the moment. I was ready to take a day or two off when I was abruptly replaced but I was forced into going because of my financial situation. This turned into a huge blessing because I went somewhere that appreciates my being present. I also got validated by people who have more authority than the previous school that made me feel like I was worthless. Grasp your opportunities!!